Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
