i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
