I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
