You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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