people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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