On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
