You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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