I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
