More tranny stories later!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
