My Higher Power is John Stamos
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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