he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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