only you would photoshop your dick
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
