so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
