Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
