They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
