theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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