Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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