The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ruined the universe
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
