that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
