I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
