Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
