dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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