He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
