i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
