At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
