Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
