you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize