I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't deserve a penis
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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