clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
