i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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