Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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