Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
