So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
