smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
from now on my penis is your penis
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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