So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
