Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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