Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
