New invention idea: vibrating tampons
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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