absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
