My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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