Me. At least after what I've been through.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
