Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
