no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
