You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
