I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
