You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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