Christians are straight up FREAKS
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
