Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
