1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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