if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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