So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
