Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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