Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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