Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
as a side note pls kill me
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
