how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
