If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
