TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
