He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
