you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize