Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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